“Hardness of heart” is the only “cause” of divorce that the Bible mentions.* It describes the condition of a person who has given up on reaching agreement. We naturally crave agreement and are uncomfortable with disagreement. It is a threat to prosperity, peace, and a harmonious, functioning relationship.

Sin and difference may be tolerated. The Bible uses the term “forbearance” for this. Differences and hurts can be forgiven when agreement is reached and helpfulness with healing become the goals. Unwillingness to work toward agreement so that forgiveness will be in order, and to try to go on as if disagreement didn’t matter, is to harden ones heart. It is healing of a kind which leaves a hard, inflexible, insensitive, scar which is uncomfortable when disturbed.

Greek dictionary: Hardness of heart = Destitution of perception. In relationships we are interested in the lack of spiritual perception, that is, the lack of awareness of love and hate.

Webster’s: Scar = 3 A lasting effect of an injury to one’s feelings, reputation, etc.

Hardness of heart is mentioned in Matthew 19:8 and Mark 10:5.

Giving up on any relationship or project causes failure.

[*]The Israelites suffered with divorce if it was because the spouse was making babies with someone else too.


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